festivus ramblings…

I am with my family again this year for Christmas. Our typical family DISfunctions are similar in design to Seinfeld’s ‘Festivus‘ celebration where we practice feats of strength, the airing of grievances, and observe Festivus miracles [easily explainable events]. Add to this good food, music, board games and 5 adults within a ‘tightly’ confined space – and you’ve got yourself a very interesting time.

A great time, really. 😀

The festivus celebration began when I was officially kicked out of the kitchen after a debacle with potatoes. Apparently, it is possible to make the mashed potatoes runnier than gravy. Although, after today, my sister has joined me in the ranks of ‘kitchen-dud’ after destroying the buns she was making [you would not want to be hit by one]. Granted, buns are decidedly more difficult to produce than mashed potatoes, but I still feel better knowing that I am not the only disadvantaged kitchen-goddess with an ‘occasional’ issue. She and I will hear about this for years to come, after all, these stories come with a lifetime guarantee. And, it is likely that I will never be asked to perform this kitchen duty ever again, unless of course, under guided supervision.

Speaking of food, there has been an unfortunate amount of christmas baking laying around which seems to be finding its way into my mouth. Apparently the protocol is to consume a cookie prior to doing anything that resembles thinking. Good thing sweets aren’t my absolute favourite. I’ll take those chips over there with dill pickle chip dip, please.

Then a festivus miracle took place. My computer at home was left turned on in order to Skype my fur-children. It’s set up, of course, to automatically answer anytime someone skypes. So far, I’ve cyber-stalked Pookie and Hobbes stretching, flicking their ears, sleeping, and using their kitty litter box [a rather unfortunate placement of the camera]. But, a festivus miracle nonetheless, I tell you [particularly after my lovely neighbour adjusted the camera]. I just need to remember to turn off those skype settings when I get back home. Last thing I want is for anyone to skype me and notice the strange creature emerging from the bedroom, somewhat sketchy-like, stumbling about, talking to itself in it’s natural habitat, wondering where she left her cup of tea.

And it’s freezing cold here. Seriously frosty at minus 4. Good thing I find myself decked out in long johns and fleece and turtlenecks with heavy sweaters….in the house. After all, I never know when I might ‘accidentally’ step outside to get at some of that homemade baking they’ve tried to hide from me.

So the big joke at my sister’s place this year is that I just came out of the closet. Yes, it’s true. This morning I came out of the closet. Quite literally. Her condo is somewhat confining, so yours truly is sleeping in the closet that connects the master bedroom to the bathroom. And, I have to admit…it’s not so bad. It’s really dark in there – and although the bed is incredibly narrow – it is quite comfortable. Who would have thunk it? I feel sort of like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon…although, probably not quite as beautiful first thing in the morning, I suspect. Unfortunately, there are the pictures to prove this as my family ‘accidentally’ took photos while I was sleeping. They are particularly fond of the flash function.

Well, on that note, it is after 4:30 am and Santa hasn’t arrived yet [does that mean I’ve been bad?]. I should consider doing something that resembles attempting to go to bed soon-ish as I suspect my family will want me out of dormancy at an early hour. They do that sort of thing. Get up early. I keep thinking I’ll be afflicted by this strange family disease one day, but my sister did tell me once that I was adopted…or something of the like. Being an older sister, she’d know for sure.

Okay, okay. Time for sleep. Enough of my sugar-induced festivus ramblings. Wishing you all the warmest of thoughts during this holiday season.